Then at the end I’ll switch gears and give you a technique that actually works for overcoming “limiting beliefs,”, only faster and more efficiently. Using science.

-Epik

Step 1: Understand why the hell I’m even writing this in the first place.


“I believe in SCIENCE.”

There’s a lot of advice out there for guys on how to meet girls. Some of it’s good (“Getting a girl to verbally role play with you will intrigue her”) some of it’s not-so-good (“if you ‘neg’ a girl it will lower her perceived value, then she’ll be more receptive to your ‘DHV’”) and some of it’s REALLY, REALLY BAD (“Wearing a feathered boa, sunglasses, and a fancy purple hat will get you laid in 2010″)

I like being a member of the Seduction Community. Admittedly, I really don’t like the term ‘seduction community’ or even worse, the ‘pickup community’… but it’s easier than saying ‘the community of guys trying to improve themselves and to increase the number of happy, sexually satisfied women in the world.’ But whatever you call it, I’ve got a lot of friends in this group.

Because of this, it pains me when I see well-intentioned guys spending their time (or worse, their time and money) learning a technique that:

  1. Won’t get them laid, and
  2. Is ultimately detrimental to their sense of self worth and self-esteem.

The main purpose of this article is to get you to apply critical thinking to pickup. Side benefits: 1: Hopefully I won’t see nearly as many guys using EFT and tapping on themselves while talking to women, for heaven’s sake. 2: I get to go on a little rant, use some swear words, and generally feel better without physically hurting anyone.

Dear lord, please grant me the ability to punch people in the face over standard TCP/IP
Am I the only one who would love it if this works?

If I’m talking about critical thinking, why pick on poor little EFT?

I could have written this article on EMDR, certain aspects of NLP, regression hypnotherapy, various “Inner Game” doctrine, or any other bad/useless advice. I picked EFT because it seems to be on the rise in our little community, and I figured I’d nip it in the bud before it got too prevalent.

“A skeptical approach to life leads to advances in all areas of the human condition; while a willingness to accept that which does not fit into the laws of our world represents a departure from the search for knowledge.”

“Skepticism is not about debunking, disproving, or ruining anyone’s faith. Skepticism is about applying the scientific method to arrive at a conclusion that is evidenced to be beneficial, like curing cancer. If, during this process, it first becomes necessary to debunk an unsupported alternative that’s in the way, such as treating cancer with magnets, then that debunking serves as a stepping stone to the final solution. Debunking should never be an end in itself, because that alone creates nothing useful. As scientists, we are interested in learning, and often that involves replacing an older hypothesis that’s found to be wrong.”

- Brian Dunning

I’m ‘debunking’ EFT because of the root problem, as I see it, is that advocating EFT (and other pseudosciences) in pickup reinforces the dogma of valuing private feelings more highly than evidence-based reason. Once you start down that path, then you’re severely limiting your results in the pursuit of knowledge.

“This article is boring. I just want to put my penis in a vagina.”

Fair enough. I see pickup as a quest for knowledge. The end result is that you want to put your penis in a vagina… but along the way you’re learning social skills, sexual psychology, social psychology, effects of kinesthetic contact, physiology, human interaction, and (hopefully) more basic anatomy than the average man. What a wonderful journey!

If you’re using EFT (or any other pseudoscience) just to feel good, fine. You could get the same effect from valium, without wasting as much money or time. IF, however, you’re using EFT (oaop) as a stepping stone to attracting women, then you are shooting yourself in the foot. Using it in public makes you look nervous, and using it in private to resolve self esteem issues won’t get to the root of the problem. AND you’re directing your attention, effort, time, (and probably money) AWAY from the techniques and knowledge that have been evidenced to help guys in your exact situation.

Pictured: using EFT to get women to sleep with you

I’m not trying to be mean! Most people just don’t understand how the mind/body works, so when they come across something that seems plausible, there’s no reason (as they see it) not to try it out. EFT has some interesting-sounding arguments, and uses scientific-sounding words. As such, most people introduced to it just accept it as fact if they don’t think about it too much. However, those arguments all pander to Cognitive Bias (the human tendency to draw incorrect conclusions in certain circumstances based on cognitive factors rather than evidence), or from logical fallacies.

So if you’re a die-hard EFT fan, I’m not picking on you. Hopefully you’ll read this and by the end of this article you’ll think. “Huh. I guess never thought of it that way. Oh well. So what DOES work?”

But first let’s meet our opponent:

Step 2: introducing EFT

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a form of alternative psychotherapy, that purports to manipulate the body’s energy field by tapping on acupuncture points while a specific traumatic memory is focused on, in order to alleviate a psychological problems.

The theory of EFT is that negative emotions can cause disturbances in the body’s energy field.

If you’ve never heard of it before, GOOD. If you want to learn more about it, there are plenty of websites you can check out, although be warned,  they are retarded.

In fact, if you’ve never heard of EFT then you could even skip to Step 7 where I talk about how to change your belief system and get laid.

The biggest proponent of EFT within the Seduction Community is Erika Awakening. She’s spoken at some pickup summits, and has somewhat of a following.

Here’s my disclaimer: I’ve met Erika several times, and she’s always been polite and fun. She’s an interesting person and if more women in the world were as sexually expressive as she is, the world would be a better place. For those of you that haven’t met her, trust me: she’s a quirky, interesting, and lovably bizarre girl. So although many people reading this will link EFT with Erika, please don’t think of this as ‘bashing’ on her personally – it’s just that she subscribes to a philosophy that I feel is detrimental to it’s own stated end goal – namely, teaching guys how to improve themselves and get girls. So no hard feelings.

Step 3: Throwing out most EFT ‘evidence’ right away, which I admit is kindof a dick move


Kindof an asshole.

“Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence”

- Carl Sagan

If you have limiting beliefs, or some other minor psychological issues, there are some studies to show that EFT will (kindof) make it better.

Wow, how does it do that? It turns out that EFT ‘works’ by manipulating cognitive bias while simultaneously invoking the placebo effect and inadvertently mimicking some aspects of traditional (proven) psychological methods. And guess what?, you can get even better results if you just use the traditional psychological methods in the first place.

So I could give you the exact same psychological and medical benefits if I walked up to you and asked you to push a “magic button” – provided I could could convince you that pushing the button signals the tooth fairy to beam healing energy into your aura from her spaceship.

“You just admitted EFT works, even though it’s just the placebo effect. So there’s no harm in teaching it to people.”

Woah, hold on there. I admitted that it ‘kindof’ works for minor psychological issues. That doesn’t change the fact that if you’re tapping yourself in public (or worse… I’ve seen guys tapping girls while they talk to them) you look nervous as hell. Who cares if you’re supremely confident on the inside? You’re still ruining your chances by outwardly doing something that’s unattractive. I happen to be astoundingly good at meeting and talking to women, but I’m sure my results would suffer if I went around wearing a t-shirt that said “Hi, My dick tastes like herpes and AIDS.”


…but it’s good with mustard.

But there’s even more harm beneath the surface. As I said right in the beginning, believing in something that isn’t true (even though it might be temporarily helpful to believe it) leads you to a life of rejecting evidence based on ‘feelings,’ and cuts you off from learning what’s really going on around you.

Are you trying to learn how to be more attractive to women? Then you need to understand evolutionary, sexual, and female psychology, as it is best understood by modern research. Why spend time (and money) learning an entire system that directly opposes the field of psychology you’re trying to learn from?

“Annecdotal Evidence” is NOT evidence

“Epik,” you may say, “you are a pretentious prick. I happen to know EFT works because I had X problem, and I used EFT on it, and now I don’t have X problem anymore. Ipso facto, EFT works. Suck on it.”

Here’s the problem with that logic: How do you know that it wasn’t due to another factor? Was it the tapping of ‘energy meridians’ that caused the shift, or was it the fact that the brain finds bodily tactile stimulation soothing? Was it regression towards the mean? Did the mere fact that you believe in the EFT philosophy cause your brain to release endorphins? Did a passing alien spacecraft use psychic vibrations and to increase the vibrational energy field of your body using their advanced instruments?

Until you can separate correlation and causation, you don’t have an argument.

Here’s an example illustrating the difference between Anecdotal evidence and verifiable evidence:

If you went to the Food and Drug Administration and said “I have a new drug made from willow bark that cures headaches. Can I sell it?” They would ask to see your evidence. If you said “I had a headache, and I chewed willow bark, and now it’s gone” – they would laugh at you and call you silly names.

If you said “I have a hundred friends, and whenever they have headaches they chew willow bark, and it cures it pretty much every time,” They’d still kick you out for wasting their time.

How about this? “I have three hundred friends with headaches. I divided them up into three groups, which chewed willow bark, birch bark, and oak bark respectively. 87% of those who chewed willow bark rated their headache as improved, while only 31% and 27% of the birch and oak bark groups showed improvement” Aha! now you’re getting somewhere. The Food and Drug Administration might take a closer look, but now they’re asking interested questions like “So how did you make sure that the willow bark group wasn’t just saying their headaches went away just because they knew that’s what you wanted to hear?”

(Also, hopefully the fellows at the Food and Drug Administration know that willow bark is where Asprin comes from, and can tell you that there’s a shortcut to all that chewing.)

So here’s the dick move: You can’t count anecdotal evidence. I’m hereby NOT listening when you say “Well, it worked for me.”

Then again, that’s pretty fair. Because if you COULD count anectodal evidence, you’d have to give equal weight to MY ‘evidence’ if I said “I tried EFT and it didn’t work.”

“Wait!” you say, “did you spend much time on it? Was the EFT practitioner doing it right? Were YOU doing it right? Maybe it did work but you’re so biased that you’re lying about the results…” Excellent questions! My point exactly. you can’t know all the details of when I tried EFT, and I can’t know all the details when you tried it. So if we want to settle this, we’ll discount each others’ personal experiences. So hey, it wasn’t a dick move after all, was it?

This entire paragraph is a link to the wikipedia article on Anecdotal Evidence. If you think you know what constitutes ‘anecdotal evidence,’ but can’t quite put it into words, you should read this article. Seriously, just being AWARE of this logical fallacy will vastly improve your life. You’ll see relationships more clearly, spot flaws in infomercials trying to scam you out of money, and notice when a politician is trying to logically sucker punch you. It’s important that we’re clear – I’m not dismissing all of this ‘evidence’ just to be flippant. Relying on Anecdotal Evidence is a COMMON LOGICAL FALLACY.

So for those of you too busy to read up on Anecdotal Evidence: here’s the short of it - If evidence isn’t falsifiable or reproduceable, it doesn’t count.

The main problem with personal experiences and anectodal evidence (in this case) is that it doesn’t factor in the placebo effect.

The placebo effect: That’s Science

We’ve all heard of it, and often it’s used in a derogatory manner. People whose health improve after being given a placebo are thought to be ‘fakers.’ Well, the truth is that the Placebos DO work. The human brain is an AMAZING thing, and it can heal the body all by itself.

The roots of the placebo problem can be traced to a lie told by a US Army nurse during World War II as Allied forces stormed the beaches of southern Italy. The nurse was assisting an anaesthetist named Henry Beecher, who was tending to US troops under heavy German bombardment. When the morphine supply ran low, the nurse assured a wounded soldier that he was getting a shot of potent painkiller, though her syringe contained only salt water. Amazingly, the bogus injection relieved the soldier’s agony and prevented the onset of shock. Beecher thought this was pretty fucking cool, and devoted the rest of his life to studying it.

The more you believe in the cure you’re getting, the stronger the placebo effect. It’s not mumbo jumbo – Medical science knows that having ‘faith’ in a cure causes complex but measurable interactions between your brain, sensory, motor and autonomic pathways as well as the immune and endocrine systems.

So yeah, if you believe in EFT it will work for you. But no better (and sometimes worse) than a placebo. Real psychology and psychotherapy, however, will always work BETTER than a placebo.


Placebos are powerful. They work in every me… and every you.

EFT doesn’t work, That’s Science

EFT practitioners could counter “Who are YOU to tell me it’s not science? What’s a “scientist” anyway? Just a guy who claims to be a scientist. There’s no Science Pope of the world who bestows ‘scientist’ titles on people. You don’t have the right to decide that your science is correct, and my science is ‘pseudoscience.’ In other words…”

Step 4: So WHO, exactly, gets to decide what is ‘science’ and what isn’t?

Great question, my imaginary EFT friend, I’m glad you asked it!

And the answer is – (drumroll) – it’s not a WHO but a WHAT. The old scientific method that you loved learning about in High School.


If my science teacher had told me that this could get me laid, I definitely would have paid attention in class.

EFT makes some amazing clams. Fantastic claims, even. Claims that go AGAINST current medical, biological, and physics knowledge (ie, there’s a vague, ‘energy field’ generated by our bodies that doesn’t conform to the known types of measurable energy).

Here’s the sad part. YOU SHOULD NOT BE READING THIS ARTICLE RIGHT NOW. This article shouldn’t even have to exist. In a perfect world, when someone makes the kind of fantastical claims that EFT makes, they’d present you with fantastic evidence right away. And – since this is a perfect world we’re envisioning, everyone will be aware of cognitive bias and the scientific method – people would look at all of the ‘evidence’ presented by EFT (or any other pseudoscience) and throw it out right away and spend the rest of their day doing productive things. (Like learning what will ACTUALLY reduce your limiting beliefs and makes you more attractive to women.)

Also – I’m throwing out the “don’t knock it until you’ve tried it” logical fallacy

I’m going to be annoyed if/when you try and use this argument against me: “How can you say it doesn’t work if you haven’t tried it… I mean REALLY TRIED it, yourself?” Even though I’m writing this now, I can guarantee that it will show up in the comments below. When that happens, dear readers, you can just reply to them yourself with a link back here.

This isn’t a valid argument FOR anything. Imagine that I told you “If you put a red hot poker in your eye, it will make your dick twice as big,” would you do it? Would it change your mind if I said “Well, if you’ve never put a poker in your eye then you can’t prove that it doesn’t make your dick bigger.”


Come on. don’t be a pussy.

I’m pretty sure you STILL wouldn’t do it. And why? Because you would say “That goes against what I currently know about eyeballs, hot pokers, and dicks.”

But suppose that for some reason I REALLY wanted to convince you to put a poker in your eye. Looks like I’ll have to change your understanding of eyeballs, pokers, and dicks. What would it take? Maybe show you a shit-ton of studies, show you before/after pictures of guys who used the poker→bigger dick method, give you a plausible biological reason of WHY it works, get you on the phone with a few doctors that you trust and have them explain to their experiences with patients who use the method, and probably let you talk with guys who have undergone the procedure.

In a nutshell, If I want you to do something that sounds unreasonable and goes against common knowledge, then it’s my burden to supply the proof.

“Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence”

- Carl Sagan

So please, don’t try asking me to ignore science and try EFT… just to see if it works.

And here’s the kicker: even if I DID follow your advice and try EFT, and it DID work for me… what kind of ‘evidence’ would that be? Oh snap!

Wait. This just gave me the CRAZIEST of ideas…

Step 5: I suppose we could try testing EFT using… I don’t know, maybe… SCIENCE!

Here’s what I propose to anyone who wants to talk about EFT and teach it to guys in MY community; if you want your ideas knocking around in the heads of MY friends, then prove that it works.

How do you prove it? Easy! With THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD!

Do a single blind, double blind, or even a triple blind scientific test. Triple blind would be better, but those are pretty hard to pull off, so you’re forgiven if you just do a single or double blind.


Haha. Science can be so silly.

A single blind test is the minimum, and it’s where the subjects don’t know if they’re getting the tested treatment or the control. Double blind is when neither the subjects nor the test administrators know what group is the tested treatment or the control. Triple blind is when even the people analyzing the data don’t know which group is which (‘Group X was given treatment 2 and got better. Group Y was given treatment 1 and got worse. Whatever ’2′ is, it’s the better one.’)

So are you ready…?

HERE’S HOW I would set up a double blind test to measure EFT’s ability to… say… relieve approach anxiety:

The first blind: the subjects

Get a group of volunteers, and divide them into three subject groups (for statistical relevancy, you’ll want at least 30 people in each group, but more would be better).We’ll secretly call them Groups EFT, Placebo (P), and Control (C). Tell the subjects that they will be receiving a revolutionary treatment called, say, ‘Lateral Axis Manipulation of Energy’ (to eliminate the bias of people who have heard of EFT before and have a pre-formed opinion, positive or negative).

The double blind: the test administrators

This one’s easy. Get a bunch of new age believers that want to learn how to perform this ‘Awesome new medical procedure called Lateral Axis Manipulation of Energy (or LAME for short).’ Divide them into three groups, EFT-Testers , Placebo-Testers, and Control-Testers. Teach them all the same techniques (using EFT founder Gary Craig’s manual, for instance) BUT you teach the Placebo-Testers to tap on the WRONG points. Specifically, points that contradict where the EFT manual says the ‘energy meridians’ are. You teach the Control-Testers to just talk to the subjects, and not tap them at all.

You start the trial by having the subjects rate their level of approach anxiety on a scale of 0-10, then they go through their treatment for however long you it takes for EFT to take effect, then at the end have them rate their level of approach anxiety again on a scale of 0-10.

If EFT really can manipulate the body’s ‘energy meridians’ and influence limiting beliefs, then your findings will support your hypothesis: you’ll see a statistically significant improvement in the group that got the ‘real’ EFT, and little or no improvement with the groups that got the Placebo or the Control treatment.

There you go. Easy-peasy, right?

So to those of you who want EFT to be taken seriously: you should conduct this study, or shut the fuck up. It won’t cost much – you can probably put out a craigslist ad and get the subjects and test subjects to volunteer their time, and the EFT training manuals are free online. If you do the study in a public park, you don’t even have to rent a building. You can type up your results in a public computer at the library for free and email them to a scientific journal. It’ll cost you maybe $3 for paper and pencils to track your results, maybe $5 if you want to get some official-looking clipboards for your papers.


Clipboards. Essential for science.

What are you worried about? In one day, and for less than $10 you can, once and for all, silence all of the naysayers like me. If EFT is as great as you say it is, it will pass this test with flying colors, right?

So why doesn’t someone just DO a test like this?

Oh wait, someone already fucking has. And their test was much more rigorous, elaborate, and unbiased than the one I just proposed. They even had a fourth group that tested touching the ‘meridian’ points on a doll (“Modeling Control”), just to eliminate the possibility that the Placebo group accidentally tapped on previously unknown ‘energy meridians’ that healed the mind. Like I said, it was thorough.

Their results?

“The results of the present study indicate that EFT was effective in decreasing fear in a nonclinical population. However, EFT was no more effective than either a placebo or ‘modeling control’ procedure. Participants who were instructed to tap on various locations of their arm reported similar reductions in fear as those participants who were instructed to tap on meridian points. The location of the points did not play a measurable role. Furthermore, participants who tapped on a doll also reported similar decreases in fear ratings.”

If you’ve invested a lot of time, money, or energy into EFT, that’s got to sting: you could have gotten the exact same benefit by playing with a doll for a few minutes.

Step 6: Some studies that show EFT is effective (and why those studies are absolute horseshit)

“But Epik,” you may say, “I’ve heard about lots of ‘scientific studies’ that show that EFT works, and the guy that taught me EFT told me about them. Plus, he used science-y words and he’s a really nice guy.”

Wow, that’s a pretty good point. There’s even This page on the World Center For EFT website and it sure does have a lot of articles.


separated at birth?

Unfortunately for those making the case for EFT, every single one of those studies is fundamentally flawed. In fact, most of them aren’t scientific at all (i.e. they do NOT follow the scientific method). To quote from just one of them (emphasis mine):

The results of the current study are not generalizable due to its small sample size and lack of a control group. It is possible that the results were due to placebo effects, regression to the mean, therapist expectancy, the novelty effect of EFT, or implicit pressure on subjects to report improvements. Larger studies that are properly randomized and controlled are required to determine if the effects found in these seven [test subjects] hold up.

And that is from one of the best studies they listed in favor of EFT.

You could go through those links on that web page one-by-one and see for yourself. I, however, urge you not to waste your time on reading all that pseudoscience nonsense. You’ve wasted enough just reading this article. You’ve got important things to do with your life.


Very important things

But…

For those of you out there that truly believe in EFT (and especially if you’re teaching it or recommending it to others), I DO want you to waste your time. ;) Specifically I challenge you to find ANY study in there that tested EFT against the placebo effect.

Oh, and while you’re at it, I’d like to see justification that those are all “Studies accepted in Peer Reviewed Journals” like the pretty blue letters say. Are they really? I looked at a couple of them, and I’m pretty damn sure that things like “Wholistic Healing Publications e-zine ” doesn’t fit any definition of ‘Peer Reviewed Journal’ that I’ve ever heard of.  For instance, they seem to be missing those pesky “review” articles, otherwise known as “reviews of progress,” or sometimes called “the bare minimum of what it takes to even call your paper a REVIEW, you fucking crackpots.”


“Fuck, that looks complicated. How about we just skip it?” – EFT ‘Scientists.’

Since EFT is trying to claim medical and psychological benefits, then you HAVE to test it using the medical and psychological rules (have other people reproduce your studies and see if they get the same results) if you want to be taken seriously.

And while I’m on the subject… A few of the ‘studies’ that the page links to say they are ‘Randomized’ and ‘Controlled’ – I read those studies – and it turns out that their ‘control’ was just people that sat in a room alone for a few hours. Gee, people who get massages while they talk to someone who will listen sympathetically to their fears FEEL BETTER than people who sit in a room alone and are bored for hours? Groundbreaking discovery there, geniuses.

This just in! I conducted a study with 20 subjects on the effect of pencils on sex. I had 10 guys shove pencils up their asses, then made them go to bars and flirt with pretty girls. The other 10 men were the ‘control’ group who were not given pencils and weren’t allowed to talk to girls. After 4 weeks of study I’m pleased to report that 20% of the guys who had pencils up their asses got laid, yet NONE of the pencil-less guys had sex. Yay! I just conducted a ‘Randomized’ and ‘Controlled’ trial proving that pencils get you laid!

Step 7: Then what CAN help me improve myself? (answer hint: Science)

This last step doesn’t have anything to do with the anti-EFT argument. Whether or not *I* can come up with a better solution is completely beside the point. (“if you can’t describe a better way to make your dick double in size, that proves that sticking a red hot poker in your eye is the best way to do it.”)

So, just so this article doesn’t end on a negative note, I’d like to talk a little bit about a better way to do what people in the seduction community use EFT to do…

Getting rid of your Limiting Beliefs

Disclaimer: Since this article has been all about how science is awesome and will get you laid, in all fairness I should point out that the term “limiting belief” is a pop psychology buzzword and isn’t used by ‘real’ scientists. In fact, you should be skeptical of anyone (like me – how bout them apples?) that talks about limiting beliefs like they’re a real thing. It would be more correct to talk about psychological Beliefs (capital ‘B’), and belief formation and the relationship between beliefs and actions. I’m going to go ahead and use the pop psychology buzzword to mean “a dispositional (unconscious) Belief that negatively influences human behavior towards irrational actions that contradict a person’s conscious goals.” – There. If anyone quotes me on that definition, I want a quarter.

Philisophically speaking, there’s a big difference between Belief and Fact. Just because somebody sincerely believes something does not make it a fact (“Seriously, I know this will work. I just know it. Now bring me that poker…”)

But… as far as your brain is concerned, though, there is no difference between a belief and a fact. Psychologists say that if your brain believes something’s true, it will influence your actions. Neuroscienctists say that if your brain believes it’s true, it will send nerve impulses and produce physiological effects in your body.


“Hi. I am your brain, and you and your body are my bitch.”

So know that you have all sorts of ‘limiting beliefs’ that are fucking you over. Even if you only subconsciously believe them, they will drastically alter your behavior and, if they are severe enough, your physiology.

“I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.”

-Emo Philips

So to get rid of a belief, just switch it out for another one. Once your brain believes the ‘new’ thing, it will treat it as a fact and influence your behavior accordingly. My favorite way of changing beliefs is through cognitive awareness, plus a logical and disciplined process of operant conditioning.

“Whatever. So how will this get me laid?”

Let’s say you have the following limiting belief: “If I want to have sex with a girl, I will have to somehow trick her first.”

First off, let’s all agree that this isn’t healthy. It shows poor self esteem, and also severely underestimates womens’ sex drives. So once we decide that something’s wrong, we can:

  1. Acknowledge that you HAVE the limiting belief in the first place. Ok, that sucks – you feel like you have to trick girls into sleeping with you. You can tell yourself that it’s not true, but sometimes that’s not enough – what if it still feels like you’re ‘pulling a fast one’ on girls that you have sex with?
  2. Define what the root belief that you want to change. In this example, it could be any of the following reasons (but for the rest of this exercise let’s say it’s number one):
    1. Girls don’t like sex as much as I do
    2. I’m not worth loving the way I really am
    3. No girl wants MY cock, because it’s funny looking
  3. Define what you’d like your ‘new’ belief to be, and justify it. Ok, so you want to believe that girls like sex even more than men do. Man, that would be nice. If only it were true! Oh wait, many studies show IT *IS* TRUE. In this case I recommend reinforcing the ‘new’ belief by reading any one or all of the following books:
  4. Be cognizant of every time you feel old limiting belief influencing your actions. Over time, you will begin to internalize the ‘new’ belief. Ok, So now you intellectually know that girls like sex even more than men do, but you have a hard time emotionally believing it. Well, the next time you’re talking to a girl and you ‘catch’ yourself thinking that she probably doesn’t want sex – start thinking about all of those things you learned in those books. Act as if you believe that she wants sex more than you do (you already intellectually believe it, force your words and actions to comply with that intellectual belief, and your emotional ‘gut’ feeling will follow along eventually).

Any questions?


“I dunno why you always have to be judging me because I only believe in science.”

A big, fat caveat to ‘Step 7′ (overcoming limiting beliefs using Operant Conditioning)

This will work with minor limiting beliefs or smaller, irrational fears. If you have any REAL psychological issues (depression, acute social anxiety, bipolar disorder, etc.) then you should NOT be looking for help in the “Pickup Community.” First get some help from a real professional with an MD or a PhD behind their name. It may be that your brain is chemically imbalanced – and all of the positive thinking in the world isn’t going to make you feel better when your brain’s dopamine receptors are being blocked due to a subtle hormonal imbalance. Talk to a professional, see if you need to be on medication for awhile, and get healthy. When you’re down to just the ‘normal’ psychological fears (“I’m afraid to talk to pretty girls because if she doesn’t like me I will feel bad.”) then it’s time to get back in the community because we can help you with that stuff.

So go on and get out there. Talk to girls, and instead of wasting your time with pseudoscience, work on improving yourself and get on with what’s really important in life.

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