AdonisI saw this in another forum and there were many responses to the post but not one of them addressed the real problem where this interaction went wrong. I thought I would step in and give my analysis.

My writing, blue italics; his, black.

im outside and i asked for a cig. a random ass girl gave it to me but i didnt feel like sarging because she wasnt that great looking…anyways i saw these 2 HB7.5′s with 2 guyz. i automatically felt compelled to open the guyz first. so i did so,

First off, it’s no big deal that you didn’t go after the girl that wasn’t great looking, but I wanted to make a quick note that you don’t have to “sarge” every girl you talk to. It’s perfectly ok to have regular conversations with people, especially when they do something nice for you, like give you a cigarette.

I find it strange that guys learn “game” and then forget ALL conventions of social politeness. You don’t have to “pick up” everyone you talk to. What’s wrong with just being normal and nice to people you meet (especially ones that have gone out of their way to be nice to you)!? This brings up a whole bunch of topics that I will not be addressing here but I think play a huge role in where you mess up the following interaction.

As far as approaching the guys first, your compulsion was probably correct. It is almost always better to approach the guys first unless you know for a fact that the girls don’t really know the guys and they aren’t terribly into the guys already.

Me: hey man nice tattoo is that rons(really good tattoo artist in elizabeth N)

I like this. Giving a genuine compliment to a guy is a GREAT opener for a group with guys and girls in it. Doing this demonstrates a warm dominance that so few guys are actually capable of conveying. Nice start!

Him: nah man i got it from my boy down in.. (i forgot the town)
Me: oo nah im askin cuz i had a girl walk into my job with something similar

THIS IS WHERE YOU BLEW IT! I’m going to assume this was unintentional, but this seems to be an all too common tactic guys use for AMOGing.

This is just a flat out insult. You are saying that this guy (whom you will later admit could probably kick your ass) has a “girly” tattoo!! I know a lot of guys think that this is how you are supposed to handle AMOGs. A lot of guys in this little community of ours will say you have to lower a guy’s social value or something to be like the “cool kid” in high school and therefore “blow the guy out”. But I can assure you….I have almost NEVER seen this actually work!

I can recall a situation where I was out with a guy and I was talking to this girl I had isolated and things were going very well. He approached us (I was thinking to build me up in ways that would come across as bragging if I were to say them, but your “wing” can always do this for you…unfortunately, he didn’t do this…) and started “gaming” the girl.

Then, I saw her eyes look up and over our shoulders, and notice the look of recognition. I knew she must have a friend approaching. When this happens I always greet the friend warmly. I turned to do so, but before I could do that this guy opens his mouth first and says, “Hey nice shirt….What!? Did you get it at Hot Topic or something!?”

The first words to come out of this guy’s mouth to a guy that was obviously a friend of the girl’s was an insult! Well, let’s just say this interaction (that prior to this guy’s entry was going extremely well) fizzled out very quickly after this, but it demonstrates how quickly things can go downhill if you avoid basic, common-sense social awareness.

Likewise, your interaction with this group, not surprisingly, goes drastically downhill from this point on.

I know I often belabor my advocacy of using Straw Man Technique on guys, but once again this is almost always more effective. Also…you could just be a cool, normal guy to other dudes. You don’t always have to AMOG. There’s no shame in just being nice, normal, and friendly to guys. If they start being douchebags themselves, then sure…apply a little Straw Man Technique. Otherwise, just be a cool to them!

him: where you work
Me: i work at a womans shoe store (**** man i have an edge lol but i cant practice this stuff their because i have a huge fear of my fellow coworkers in the mall and in my store watching me crash and burn)

It’s unfortunate that you had to insult the guy in the first few lines of your conversation, because of course he is now going to tool on you for this. Can’t say that I necessarily blame him.

Him: oo (he then signals to the 2 HB7.5′s) hey we got a dude in a shoe store ladies, you guyz should go, he could hook you up

He begins to tool on you as I would expect.

ME:how am i gonna do anything when i dont even know them (i said that with a smile because personally, i dont like hookin up random ass HB’s cuz i think its pure kiss ass when you dont even know them)

I know you are trying not to convey interest here and get them working for you first. But in truth, you already have conveyed interest merely by approaching. So this response makes you seem disingenuous. Once again there is nothing wrong with being nice and playful.

…..this is when the AMOG came in

The AMOG already came in….Right after you insulted him. I wonder how this interaction might have gone had you not insulted him.

AMOG: so then why you telling us all this man?
ME: dude im just conversatin i dont know bout you
AMOG: you dont need to know bout me

This seems a bit out of place since you haven’t really asked him anything, but once again, of course he’s going to be a bit hostile at this point.

ME: yo whats your name?
AMOG: yo you dont need to know my name
AMOG: dont kno body care bout what you sayin

You try asking a friendly question but it’s too little, too late. Damage is already done.

Other guy: dude dont worry man he’s just bein rude

at that point my friend pulled me out. it was the type of situation where i would have been like

“yo watch who you speakin to like that”

I hate to say this but, you reap what you sow. and in this case you reaped the seeds of discord. No sense in you continuing to breed the seeds of hostility. It’s a good thing your friend pulled you out.

truth be told, i probably would have gotten my ass wooped. so im thinking a couple of things

1.how would you go about diffusing a situation like this with out tampering with his anger and making him make a move, but at the same time not coming off as a pussy?

I think you know my response. You could have not insulted him in the first place thereby causing things to get to this point. Try being genuinely friendly to the guys and build them up next time. Only people who truly live lives of abundance are able to give this kind of value to other guys. That in itself is far more dominant than reciting any silly AMOG lines.

2. im thinking about taking up a self defense or a martial art (judo or something with reversal and offensive techniques just incase something like this gets out of control) you guyz ever think about doing something like that?

Martial Arts are great exercise and can help you build a strong inner game. However, given the way you handled this situation, you might actually NEED it to save yourself when these fights inevitably break out due to behavior like this. So definitely take it for the fitness and confidence aspect, but trying being a little more genuinely warm & friendly and you won’t find yourself getting into situations where you have to ninja kick any guys.

thanks

As a post-script to this article I want to mention that there were several responses on this forum to the above post and NOT ONE of them addressed the real issue at hand. They ranged from giving him more AMOG lines (which I guarantee would have only worsened things because they were along the same lines as the thing he said to initially get him into this jam) to straight out saying these guys were douchebags that were just looking for a fight.

Once again, I wonder how this might have gone down had the guy been normal, social, and cool with these guys from the get-go!?

Get Out There!

Adonis


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