“What To Do When I Run Out Of Things To Say…”
This question has been coming up again & again lately:
“Nick, I like how you approach with a lot lower energy but how do you keep the conversation going? I find myself at a loss for words a lot and don’t know what to do next.”
I’m actually glad this question is getting asked because this is something that happens to me actually quite often (more often than I would care to admit, in fact!). I, too, will run out of things to say but when I do I have 5 simple strategies to combat those inevitable “lulls” in the conversation:
- Roleplay: Women respond massively to roleplays because their brain has evolved to do so…this is why girls play “house” and have “tea parties”. This is also a source of what women find funny: situations and experiences. So if you run out of things to say, the first thing that comes to mind for me is to create a ridiculous roleplay for us to “act out”…and it doesn’t have to be anything incredible. e.g. “You know what I wanna do with you? We’re gonna go right now and get married by a midget Elvis, through a drive-thru wedding chapel downtown. Then tomorrow I’m going to divorce you and take half your shit…Have anything nice?”
- Bait Her To Invest: The easiest way to do this is through “Qualifying” her in some way…and it’s best if you qualify her on something sexual so you can simultaneously set a strong sexual frame. e.g. “You know I’ve noticed that the hottest girls are also the lousiest in the sack…You’d probably lay there like a starfish!” Every girl on the planet believes she is awesome in bed (even the virgins…I know from experience) and this statement will compel her to tell you how amazing she is in bed.
- Move Her: This is what we refer to as 3-D Escalating where you escalate on her simply by moving her around. You don’t even need much of an excuse to do so if she’s even the slightest bit invested in the interaction. e.g. “I wanna show you something awesome over here…” Then just grab her by the hand and try to find anything along the way that you can show her…even if it’s not that awesome. If I don’t find anything, I simply say, “You know what’s awesome over here? (pause) Me!”
- Be Comfortable With The Silence: Silence is your friend. Silence builds tension. And tension between a man and a woman naturally becomes “sexual tension”. If you can be comfortable with the silence and gaze at her with a seductive smirk fully, know that she is going to feel the pressure. When she does she will feel compelled to fill the silence with her own words (and this further baits her to invest!)
- Call Attention To The Elephant In The Room: State the obvious! e.g. “Well, I’m completely out of stuff to say!” or “Well, we sure got quiet!” Conversational lulls happen all the time in normal conversation….just call it out and THAT can be your conversational gambit. I sometimes like to further this with some sexual humor. I pull out my phone and pretend like I’m looking at some document on it and say: “Let me check my notes and see what I should say next to get you into bed…hmmmm….how about this: ‘Nice shoes…wanna fuck?’ No? Hmmm….(insert any lame, cheesy pick up line)”
When I run out of stuff to say, I simply go down the list in this order. If I can do the first one, then I do it…if not, I go onto the next one….and so on…
These 5 strategies are more than enough to help you get through any lull in the conversation you are likely to encounter.
Get Out There!
Nick Quick
Get Laid Tonight!
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Lol, this is pretty good and kinda charming … my favorite is “Silence is your friend” … my God, if only men would understand not to fill silence with mindless chatter … I’ve had some of my absolutely most sexual and amazing moments with men in silence. Wonderful, some of the best memories of my life
I, too, wish you were silent more often Erika. ;p
Haha…I might also adopt Strategy #4 when the 3 of us share the stage in Hollywood at the PUA World Summit :p
Great article. However, my question to Nick is, dude is there ever a time when you are not escalating with a girl ?
…..I mean making random small talk such as talking about hobbies etc…
Excellent question, Funny26…and like lots of great questions the answer is yes AND no.
I’ll explain the “no” first. No, because I want to allow HER to escalate on ME! So NO, I’m not always escalating, sometimes she is doing the escalating….
…However, MOST girls will not just randomly start escalating on you (especially if you’re not conventionally handsome or have other easily identifiable “triggers” like obvious political/social/economic control). Even in cases where these “triggers” are present, there’s no guarantee that a girl will escalate on you….so you have to “bait” them to do it. (so YES, I’m “setting her up” to do the escalation”).
Then cognitive dissonance kicks in and releases massive amounts of endorphins in her bloodstream, accompanying by her backwards rationalizing that she’s ALWAYS felt like she “liked you” (since she’s invested so much in you).